Starting a new school year can be an exciting time for most children, but for others it may be filled with worry or fear, especially when it comes to seeing their friends again. This time can also create a lot of anxiety for parents, especially if your child is slow-to-warm in new situations. Rebuilding friendships after the summer apart can be challenging, but with a little coaching and support, your child can transition back into new social settings like summer break never even happened.
\n \nAs a parent, you might be particularly worried if you know your child builds friendships at a slower pace. Different children enter friendships at different speeds – and that's okay! Your child may just have a different way of connecting with others. For example, you may find that your child may observe more, take time to adjust to change, or even prefer one-on-one interactions over large groups. Knowing your child's temperament style can help set the stage for helping them reconnect with their peers. Below are other great ways to support your child and set them up for success:
\nValidate their feelings. Your child will likely be feeling a wide range of emotions, and we want to start by normalizing their worries. It can be easy for us to dismiss their concerns and say, “You will be fine,” or “You will make tons of friends,” but acknowledging how they feel allows them to have a safe space to share with you. Alternatively, we can say, “I see that you are feeling a bit nervous. It’s been a while since you have seen your friends at school, so it can take some time to feel comfortable again.” Follow up emotional validation with tools for bravery. How can you help your child feel confident if they are feeling a little unsure? This is a great time to practice some positive self-talk or confidence statements.
\nProactively prep. Children (and adults) tend to do better with new experiences when they know what to expect. If your child had a friend or two last school year, see if you can plan a few play dates before school begins. Remind them of how they ended the school year by saying something like “Tell me the fun things you did with your friends last year. What was your favorite thing to do with them during recess?” You can also talk through what the first few days might look like, for example, who they might see on their first day, what the classroom routine looks like, or how they can initiate social interactions with classmates. It can be helpful to roleplay or even use social stories to act out these scenarios.
\nTeacher support. Teachers can play a big role in your child's social success. Teachers are always eager to hear how to help their new students settle in the new school year. Connect with a friendly email letting them know your child might be a bit quieter as they settle into the new year. Share a couple favorite topics or interests your child has so that the teacher is better able to connect with them and create a safe relationship. Ask them to keep an eye out, just in case your child is needing any extra prompting or coaching to join friends. If your child is feeling confident and supported by their teacher, they will feel more confident connecting with friends.
\nBe patient and offer praise. Friendships can take time to blossom, and friendship skills can take even longer to develop. Don’t panic if your child isn’t diving into social situations right away or is taking a bit longer to reconnect with their peers. There are always opportunities to celebrate small wins when it comes to your child's progress: “I saw you joined that game today, that was really brave!” When we focus on progress rather than perfection, you help your child feel more confident and capable.
\nRebuilding friendships after summer break takes time, especially for children who are more cautious in social settings. With patience, gentle encouragement, and trust in their process, your child will gradually reconnect and feel part of the group again. As a parent, your calm support and belief in their ability to navigate social situations at their own pace is one of the best gifts you can offer during the transition!
\n\n
Ashlee and Lisa are child psychologists who created KidsConnect Psychology as a place for children and families to access tools, supports, and therapy. Check out our website for digital downloads, parenting tool kits, information about our parent counselling, school consultations, daycare consultations, and more! kidsconnectpsychology.com. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at KidsConnect Psychology.
\n\n
See our related articles:
\n
Calgary’s Child Magazine © 2025 Calgary’s Child
