Mental health check-in: Recognizing and addressing back-to-school anxiety

Written by: Joanna Piekarski and Lara Higgins, R. Psych, Psyched About Kids

The start of summer break often brings a sense of excitement and relief. Every child’s summer looks a little different. Some attend camps, others go on family vacations, and many spend more time outdoors. For some, it’s simply a chance to unwind without structure or expectations. 

School pressures seem to vanish – that is, until August hits. Suddenly, department stores are filled with back-to-school displays. Caregivers start thinking about the upcoming school year and everything it entails. For many children, this shift can trigger anxiety. Common signs may include: bedtime rumination (your child may have a harder time falling asleep than usual); frequent reassurance seeking (“Do you think Maddy will be in my class this year?”; “Do you think I’ll like my teacher?”); increased irritability, and negative self-talk (“I’m not smart. I’m going to fail this year.”)

If you notice any of these signs, it’s a good time to check in. Keep in mind that some children internalize anxiety, so symptoms may be more subtle or difficult to detect. Even if none of the signs above are present, conducting a mental health check-in a week or two before school starts can still be a valuable and proactive step to help your child feel more prepared.

So, what can a check-in look like? That depends on your child and your family. You might opt for a structured approach or keep things more informal.

A structured check-in might involve sitting down together and asking direct questions or using conversation cards. Sample questions include:

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• “Do you have any worries about the new school year?”
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• “Are you nervous about anything with friends?”
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• “What can we do to help you feel better at school?”
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An informal check-in may happen more organically while driving, eating together, or during bedtime routines. You can ask similar questions and observe their responses. This approach often works well with preteens and teenagers, who may open up more in relaxed settings.

Once you’ve identified possible anxiety triggers, you can start building awareness and problem-solving strategies together. Common back-to-school triggers include:

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• Uncertainty about the new teacher: “Will I like them?”; “Are they going to be mean?”
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• Social worries: “What if my best friend isn’t in my class?”; “What if I get bullied this year?”
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• Changes in routine and environment: “Will the classroom be loud?”; “When is recess?”
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• Separation from caregivers: “I don’t want to leave mom and dad. What if something bad happens and they’re not there?”
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• Academic pressure: “What if I don’t do well this year?”; “What if I fail?”
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After identifying triggers, here are some helpful strategies to reduce back-to-school anxiety:

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• Be proactive. Focus on what is within your child’s control. For example, if they’re nervous about class placement, see if the teacher shares a class list in advance. If they’re starting at a new school, arrange a tour beforehand. If they’re anxious about math, consider some light practice or schedule time with a tutor.
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• Let them pick out their own school supplies. This can foster a sense of autonomy, control, and excitement, helping to balance out worries they can’t control.
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• Model a growth mindset. Simply shifting your child’s mindset can actually reduce anxiety, especially when it comes to anxiety around academic success, making new friends, or learning new skills. Help your child shift from a “stuck” mindset to a “growth” one. Statements like, “I can do this,” “I don’t know how to do this yet,” or “This is hard, but I’ll keep practicing,” can be powerful tools for resilience. Resources like The Big Life Journal are excellent in fostering a growth mindset. They even have a podcast kids can listen to with relatable stories and examples.
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• Address anxiety directly. Start a supportive conversation by helping your child identify the feeling. Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist and professor at UCLA always says: “You need to name it to tame it.” Use developmentally appropriate books like The Huge Bag of Worries or A Little Spot of Anxiety. It can also be helpful to find relevant YouTube clips, or try hands-on strategies like a Worry Jar (where your child writes or draws their worries and places them in a jar), or an anxiety workbook or journal. If the anxiety persists, consider seeking support from a psychologist or counsellor.
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Remember, back-to-school anxiety is a completely normal experience for many children. By acknowledging it early and supporting them with care and curiosity, you can help set the stage for a more confident and connected start to the year.

Joanna and Lara (Registered Psychologist and Child Mental Health Advocate) started Psyched About Kids (PAK) in 2016 because they are obsessed with human potential! PAK empowers parents with science-backed knowledge, strategies and tools to solve our most pressing parenting issues today and make life a little easier, along with ongoing support to implement the desired change. Small actions over time can have an unimaginable impact on child growth and development for lifelong health and wellness. Learn more at psychedaboutkids.com.

See our related articles:

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• First Week Back-To-School Jitters
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• Back-to-School Serenity Strategies: 7 Ways to Calm Anxious Kids
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• Back-to-School Butterflies?
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